This may seem kind of dumb or childish... or both... but there is a penny, face-down on my bathroom floor. it's been there for like 3 whole days and i refuse to pick it up because i swear to god that it did not land there from any of my pockets.
idk it's weird. it's just laying there in the middle of a tile surrounded by random stray hairs and a pair of dirty jeans that dont even have pockets.
whatever.
im trying to be all creative and junk but its just not working anymore. fuck grammar and punctuation... it's a waste of my time. as is this blog because i think a total of 2 people read it anyways. (counting myself) agh it's so frustrating!!
my quest for fame is coming up short... but im not giving up. everyone in the world is trying to be rich and famous, so why should i think that i have any more of a chance than roy, my next door neighbor? i really dont-- he's got a cooler job anyways. i think i'd be a good tour guide... if it was somewhere cool, ya know?
"Welcome to big moe's house of porno's! On the left you'll see our bdsm/bondage section. And here's the line for the latex lovers demonstration room."
I'd be totally kick ass at something like that. If they had a job for elevator attendants, anywhere around here-- sign me up. I'd make the announcements as im standing there on the elevator. "Seventh floor: maternity, misses, and house ware appliance returns. *pause* Mind the gap."
but then again i guess life wouldnt be life if there were people whose job it was to invent a job to fit every person. BUT it would be pretty sweet.
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So, you want to work at a place like 100% Italian, but with more perverts and wierdos?? Gee, I wonder where you could ever find such a place... lol! Don't worry, though, eventually you will find a career that suits your specific style (or whatever you call it, hehe).
As for the penny; most likely explanation is a conspiracy among your animals. I can picture it:
-Queue Mission: Impossible music
Sonic and Gizmo stealthily open their cage door with the help of their new "friend" Potato (I hope that is the cat's name, I forgot, sorry). They sneak, ever so quietly up the stairs with Gizmo on point and Potato bringing up the rear. With nimble grace, the three of them make their way past your bedroom while you sleep. You suddenly twitch in your deep sleep and they all quickly hug the nearby wall. Since Potato is the rookie, they send him into your room to get a penny; but not just any penny, the one closest to your head. Quickly scampering along, the sly little cat makes its way on top of your bed with ease. Step by step Potato inches closer to his goal. The shiny penny is within reach, but you stir again and the kitten, startled, does what any cat would do. Potato quickly and effortlessly turns cute and innocent, and snuggles your chin until you settle down. With a sigh of relief that he wasn’t discovered, Potato grabs the penny and proudly romps back to Sonic and Gizmo.
When he returns, Sonic is in panic. Gizmo has caught the whiff of food nearby: a tasty morsel dropped by you while eating in the computer room. Ever the hero, Potato drops the penny beside Sonic and pounces off to find Gizmo. Still in a state of fear, but grateful that Potato has stepped up to take charge, Sonic stands guard at the bathroom door.
As the sly little kitten enters the computer room, he quietly tries to find Gizmo. Searching around, he finally sees the chinchilla innocently nibbling on a crumb by the computer tower. Potato urges Gizmo to hurry and reminds him of the mission.
As they both make their way back, not realizing the computer was left on, Gizmo accidentally steps on the keyboard and the computer comes to life with music. Frantically, Potato turns the sound down and curses Gizmo under his breath. Apologetically, Gizmo sulks back to Sonic and Potato follows behind.
All three of them then make their way into the bathroom where they complete their mission and place the penny on the designated tile. For good measure, Sonic feels compelled to take a few stray hairs from around the bathroom and arrange them in homage to Potato’s courage. They all make their way back downstairs and congratulate themselves on a job well done.
-end music; fade to black
Lol, I'm stupid =)
OK... you got the cute Vinnie explanation ... or
There is the new guy who just moved in a few blocks away from you. He has spent the last 17 years of his life in a nasty Hatian prison. The years were hard on him, the inmates even harder.
He excaped finally with 3 others just a few months ago then built a raft to make his way to freedom and the United States.
Along the way he was the only surviver after that freak late hurricane swept thru the bahamas.
-Queue Some Creepy Music
He had studied Voodoo for all those years in prison and one day picked up a penny outside 100% Italian. Using his weird creepy Voodoo abilitys he tracked the owner of the penny to your house.
He spent 2 whole days chanting and calling on the Voodoo gods.
Finally one dark night several weeks ago the penny materialized
in your bathroom.
He now sits waiting knowing whom ever touches that penny will be his mindless sex slave forever.
Personally I would call Vinny and ask him to come over and pick it up for you.
I always wanted to be a sex slave for a creepy Hatian Voodoo-weilding ex-con! I'll be over later to collect that penny!
-cheer-
wow.
you boys are quite talented... but explain this one--
this morning as i'm fiddling around the bathroom doing usual morning stuff... naked... i accidentally stepped on the penny, and it stuck to my foot, where i couldn't feel. (thanks to numb feet and poor circulation) as i sat down in this chair not 5 minutes ago, i put my feet up on the desk only to see the penny on my heel. i went to grab it and throw it out the window, when it fell just before i could reach it. it landed, oddly enough, next to a plate of cookie crumbs and bits of dried fruit where earlier in the week i was entertaining myself by trying to teach sonic, gizmo, and potato some tricks.
you, vinny, are a psycho---
ic. psychic. right...
but if it really is the whore sex slave thing-- hostel did kind of turn me on.
totally. jk.
Ok, sorry. I got distracted once you mentioned the being naked part... Everything after that was a blur. Unfortunately, I am now incapable of writing anything witty and/or coherent. Once I recover, I will post something else...
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